And the hope that it’s not…
One of my girls here in Denver was texting me creepy pictures of men and couples she found on Tinder who were looking for something other than a relationship, if you know what I mean. She, being newly single, was repulsed by the offers and suggestions of the not-so-blunt profiles, and wondered what was wrong with the dating scene. I reviewed the profiles, and while equally put off, more than asking what was wrong with the dating scene, I questioned more than anything if romance was dead. I guess I’m kind of a hopeless romantic when it comes to relationships, despite my awareness of the Cinderella story I thought would happen once I grew into adulthood. I know that the missing glass slipper, although small enough to fit my child-sized foot, is not the way one finds their mate. But I still hold out for the hope that romance isn’t dead and that there are men and women out there who are still looking for non-digital interactions while courting one another. It’s just that maybe Tinder is not the way to go about that, I guess. At least not from the small sampling I witnessed the other day via text! As a culture, there is less evidence of long-term romance than there is of gratuitous judgments where one swipes left or right, hastily determining the esteem of their dating agenda. We look outside of our current relationships to make emotional ends meet; we serial date; we find reasons to stay single well into our 40s and 50s, not because we didn’t find what we were looking for, but we thought that maybe something better would come along because access to dating all around the world is at our fingertips.
For me? I just want to slow dance in the rain. I want the car door to be opened for me once in a while. I want to be surprised with little gifts from my partner, and I want to surprise him with tokens of my affection and appreciation. I want to write love letters to one another on actual paper. I want to fight and make up and be even closer than before. I want to embrace and love deeply.
I don’t want to swipe left. I don’t want to swipe right. And that is not too much to ask for, because somewhere out there, there are people who think like I do and want what I want. Maybe sites like Tinder, Match.com, and Bumble (I just found out about this one!) work for lots of people out there, and I hope that there are hopeless romantics on those sites, but I grow wearier the more I hear horror stories from friends and the more frustrated I see them becoming as they date person after person after person. I guess what I want to know from all of you is what kind of romance are you looking for and how much is in your lives? Are you as hopeless as I am and still cry at the end of The Notebook when the characters end up coming together after all (no real spoiler alert for anyone who hasn’t seen it yet)? Or are you swiping left and right? Is romance dead?